Meet BFF on the "cheat day" for cake and end up almost hooking up with a married 8/10 DILF...

Meet BFF on the "cheat day" for cake and end up almost hooking up with a married 8/10 DILF...

Wednesdays I have girl time with BFF, we meet at Gateway and spend the afternoon chatting and indulging with cake. Lots of it. Its our "no gym, cheat day."

Walking towards the coffee shop, a couple walks past me. As soon as the girl sees me, her grip around her boyfriend tightens and she starts staring at me like I stole the last marked down bandage dress, right from under her nose at the YDE naked sale. 

She carries on staring as I walk past, and I ignore it until I hear a loud noise. I whip my head around to see her holding her face, and her boyfriend trying to see how badly she's hurt. The aftermath of her walking into a pillar. 

Haha. Serves her right. I ain't no home wrecker.

30 minutes into the cakefest with BFF, we notice a 8/10 guy with a kid checking us out. He had long, floppy hair, a few days worth of stubble and these giant arms covered with multicolored intricate, tattoo sleeves. When he was leaving, he approached our table, introduced himself and handed me a folded serviette, his eyes never leaving mine. Confidence. I like that shit.

I called him the next day. He invited me over to his apartment, for a "play date" with the cute kid who he said was his nephew. When I arrive, the kid is asleep. We sit down and he serves me a latte and home made scones...made by him. 

Overly impressed with his baking skills. Huge turn on!! I ask what he does for a living.

"I more or less get paid by my sister for looking after my nephew. She's a high powered attorney." Err, hold up... did he just confess to me that he's unemployed?

After about an hour, he kisses me. We start making out with the force of two puppies play wrestling. Now this is the kind of "play date" I like.

The python was just about to come out to play when we hear keys in the door. Then a 85kg woman in a business suit and heels walks in. We all stare at each other in shock and disbelief. "Your sister?", I ask him in a breathless whisper.

"Sister!?!", she shrieks at him. " I work 9-5 to support to jobless ass. I buy you clothes, food and this..." she points at me, "this is how you repay me? Get out. Get out right now!" She charges at him and he runs out the door in fear. She locks the door from the inside. Trapping me.

She goes to their bedroom and bring out armfuls of his clothes, starts ripping them apart with her bare hands. I start to think this chick has gym potential. There's strength behind her anger. Then she stops and starts to sob.

I try to approach this tactfully. "Maybe your life sucks because you are fat. I can help with that.. Here's my card." I handed her the card, put on my shoes, side stepped over the torn clothes and let myself out.

Surprisingly she did call me, and I worked her (at gym) with the force of 500 fat kids pushing and shoving at each other to get to the front of the line at Wakaberry. She might never be an actual cardio bunny but at least she's no longer a hippo.

As for her ex husband, she had him in some kind of lock tight prenup. He left with nothing. I see him sometimes. Standing at a stop street, vacant look in his eyes. His arms, now shriveled up, colorful beanstalks, holding a sign reading: "No job, no money, no gym membership... Please help."

Lesson be learnt: you live by the swole, you die by the swole. 

*end of part 3